Response
Willow, dressed like a man in a black suit and spectacles and standing at podium, addresses a crowd. Behind her, a female attendant nods and smiles. She's also dressed in a black suit but with a leopard-print collar and wearing a short, bright red party wig.
You know, mates, in Australia we aren't about setting people against each other, nuh. It's not the Aussie way. We want equality, yeah♪ We want to see all these peoples rise at an exponential rate but not at the expense of the patriarchy getting worse.
Willow now sitting at a desk with a document in front of her, as well as a glass of water and a denim cowboy hat. She's looking more relaxed, and is no longer wearing her spectacles.
You know, I look around this room and I see lots of good stuff, yeah? Lots of ladies, diversity, and that's a beautiful thing. I know things, yeah? Got a sister, got a daughter, read an article. I'm good.
She's back at the podium, holding her spectacles in her right hand.
I would like to take a moment here to defuse some political tension and politely blame members of a minority, effectively distracting from my inability to lead the nation.
Willow sitting at the desk, now wearing the hat.
Jobs, jobs, jobs.
At the podium, Willow continues speaking while the attendant behind her sips water.
Something about the economy. Global...warming? Sorry?
She puts her hat on and the attendant behind her picks her teeth.
I can't think of a time when we were more empowered than now.
The attendant in the red wig nods and smiles.
We are powerful as one united, we are more powerful as one...
Lounging in her chair at the desk, Willow puts her feet up, wearing ostentatious black-and-white cowboy boots.
..two, three, let's go...
Willow in a denim cowboy outfit with white tassels and a large, patriotic American belt buckle on her jeans. She shimmies in front of a white backdrop as she raps.
♪ I'm white. That's nice
I'm a gentleman, I'm cool as ice ♪
♪ Doing my thing, ring a ding ding ♪
♪ I'm a good guy, hey, that's my thing ♪
She beckons with both hands.
♪ Talk to me, white guy ♪
♪ Touch the small of your back as I pass you by ♪
The attendant with the bright red party wig dances into the background, clapping in time to the rap.
♪ You're full of shine ♪
♪ Not too low, not too high ♪
Willow's white-skinned hand high-fives another woman's brown-skinned one.
♪ I'm woke, no joke ♪
♪ I'm-a sip on my kombucha coke with no straw 'cause I'm lit ♪
♪ But if you indicate I'm wrong I'll engage you in a battle of wit ♪
♪ And resources ♪
Willow strikes a dainty pose, casting a long shadow on the white wall behind her.
♪ I studied feminism in my uni courses ♪
Willow shimmies in her denim chaps, rolling her shoulders and parading in front of the red-wigged attendant.
♪ Opportunity
That's the life I lead ♪
♪ Opportunity
Divide endlessly ♪
♪ I acknowledge that I'm hetero-norm to show you that I'm woke ♪
♪ And that I know my privilege, I tell you I don't joke ♪
♪ I don't actually do anything at all to improve equality, no way ♪
Beckoning again, Willow puts her arm around the woman in the wig.
♪ But I shout my opinions loudly ♪
♪ To impress the girls I want to sleep with at the parties ♪
♪ I don't see colour, sister or brother from another mother ♪
She flaps her hands over her eyes like a blindfold.
♪ I don't see poverty, it's between God and me ♪
♪ Don't see bigotry, makes no sense to me ♪
She shrugs as she raps.
♪ I'm sexist but not racist, and then only if you're hot ♪
She and the woman in the wig stand back-to-back, shimmying their shoulders.
♪ Double standard, got a double standard ♪
♪ Yeah, I'm so used to being on top ♪
Willow gyrates, dragging her fanned-out fingers over her eyes like parting a screen.
♪ Can't conceptualise, only hypothesise ♪
♪ What you go through day-to-day ♪
♪ But I acknowledge that and I think that's enough ♪
♪ And my good deed for the day
Don't thank me! ♪
Willow gives the thumbs-up.
♪ Opportunity
Leading the country ♪
♪ Opportunity
Easy life for me ♪
The woman in the red wig dances with abandon in the centre of the white backdrop.
Now back in her black suit, and against a purple backdrop, Willow pirouettes barefoot and dances lyrically to the backup singing of the woman in the wig.
♪ He's got skin the colour of ivory ♪
♪ Got a substantial following ♪
♪ Wielding the power of a sunburnt country ♪
♪ Cis-gender looking conventionally ♪
♪ He never experienced bigotry ♪
Willow watches her own shadow as she dances, as does the attendant, who slaps her own bottom.
♪ Now he's going to dish the tea ♪
♪ Dish that tea, boy ♪
♪ Unpacking issues
So 'tradish', he's so with it ♪
Sprawling on the floor, Willow waves her limbs and kicks her feet.
♪ Picking and dropping them like that's his thing
That's his thing, yeah ♪
The attendant slaps her own hip while she gyrates.
♪ All the while he's profiting ♪
She rubs her fingers together like she's fanning out banknotes.
♪ A little bit of fame, a little bit of money ♪
♪ Off someone else's story ♪
Back in the denim cowboy outfit, Willow raps again.
♪ Wait! What? I'm so with it ♪
♪ Votes for women, and Miley Cyrus too ♪
She stomps to the beat and jiggles her tasselled shoulders.
♪ Anyone I think is hot, and the LGBTI and Q ♪
Dancing against a purple backdrop, she strokes her own face.
♪ I'll feign support but refuse to act to improve life for you ♪
♪ But it alleviates my privileged guilt ♪
♪ To regurgitate details on topical issues ♪
With a knowing smile, Willow slaps herself in the face.
♪ Of passion, no action, maybe I should take a risk ♪
What?!
With a swagger, she adjusts her hat.
♪ Use my big old mouth to speak on out for those less fortunate ♪
♪ Instead of blah blah blah in corridors ♪
♪ But it isn't pointless, is it? ♪
Willow faces an unimpressed-looking young man standing in the background, his hands in his jacket pockets.
♪ Do you pick up what I'm putting down? ♪
Yeah, it's my life, I live it.
Willow and the attendant dance enthusiastically, then parade towards the uncomfortable looking young man, spreading their arms wide.
♪ Opportunity,
I love the earth but I love coal more ♪
♪ Do it for the Queen Keep the rich guys rich and the poor guys poor ♪
They dance with abandon, flinging their arms and pumping their bodies.
♪ Opportunity,
Love equality ♪
M'ladies!
Back with the reluctant young man again, the attendant shakes his hand.
♪ Opportunity ♪
Dancing against the purple backdrop, Willow does the splits in her suit.
♪ Enough for you and me ♪
Against the white backdrop, the young man directs a withering look at Willow in her cowboy suit, and she shrugs.
What?!
Her attendant in high heels attempts to join her in doing the splits.
This is about politics. Please don't sue me!
Willow and her attendant loiter near the young man with his hands in his pockets.
Down with the patriarchy.
♪ Politics, politics, politics, politics, this is about politics ♪
♪ Politics, politics, this is about politics, my homies ♪
End credits: Script, lyrics - Willow Sizer. Composer, arrangements, additional lyrics - Rachel Lewindon.
Cast - Willow Sizer (Tax Cowboy), Kayla Hamill (Ms Handsome), Marty Alix (James).
Vocalists - James Majoos, Kala Gare, Rachel Lewindon, Willow Sizer.
Recording/mixing engineer, bass - Oliver Powell. Lighting design - Adelaide Harney. DOP, editor - Andrew Mills. Director - Margot Tanjutco. Co-director - Kayla Hamill. Best Girl - Lucy Cawood.
Proudly presented by Fine Arts and Music at The University of Melbourne.
Two plastic cups of bubble milk tea with purple straws, side by side on a clear perspex table in the form of a stiff tablecloth.
Sitting on either side of the table are two figures in hot-pink robes with their hair tied up in pastel-coloured towels, like they're at a beauty salon. Willow is on the left, Marty is on the right. Both are heavily made up and each is reading a magazine with a garish front cover and a reflective gold back cover.
- So...
- So...
- So...
Staring seductively at the camera, Marty's Tea Girl 2 turns a page of her magazine with manicured fingers and sparkly pink fingernails. Willow's Tea Girl 1 does the same, tracing the edge of her page with a long, curving pink fingernail.
- So...
- So...
- What?
- What?
Tea Girl 2 drums her fingernails on the reflective gold cover of her magazine, then peers coyly over the top of the pages. Tea girl 1 toys with the edge of her page. They each regard their magazines.
- What?
- Sad.
- Oh?
- Yeah.
The Tea Girls roll their eyes.
- Whoa!
- Yeah.
- Whoa!
- Yeah.
- Actually... Actually, though...
- Actually, though...
The Tea Girls suddenly fling their magazines away and the pages flutter to the floor.
They each reach out a hand to lift their takeaway cups of bubble milk tea.
Tea Girl 1 appears to have trouble finding the straw with her inflated, glossy lips. She drums on the side of the cup with her long fingernails.
Tea Girl 2 sucks the tea up through the straw between her plump lips, also glossy, and topped with the shadow of a dark moustache. She too taps her nails on her cup, and a little tea sprays out as she drinks.
Tea Girl 1 is still trying to get the straw between her lips.
Tea Girl 2 bites playfully down on the straw and spits out a dark pearl of tapioca. She drums rapidly on her cup again.
Tea Girl 1 manages to get the straw in her mouth. Tea Girl 2 burps.
The Tea Girls slap their manicured hands onto two phones with garish rubber covers lying on the perspex table. Tea Girl 1 has a cactus phone case, Tea Girl 2 has a pineapple case. They check their screens.
- What?
- Sad.
- Oh!
- Yeah.
- Damn!
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
They feign concern, then daydream for a moment before tapping petulantly at their phone screens, swiping and poking them. Tea Girl 2 even sniffs hers.
They both look amused by what's on their phones.
- Really?
- Yeah.
They show each other their phone screens, but they're holding them level such that each blocks the other's phone out. Each delicately tries to lower the other's phone, but their fingernails get in the way.
Ow. Ow.
They raise their phones in unison again, then flip them back and forth, to no avail. Tea Girl 1 tilts hers to one side and then they're both able to see.
- LOL. LOL.
- I've seen it.
Tea Girl 1 looks away with a bored expression while her fingers keep scrolling across her phone. Tea Girl 2 puts her hand on her heart with an insincere expression of sympathy.
- Wow!
- Wow?
- Wow!
- Wow.
- Tragic.
- Yeah.
- Actually, though.
- Yeah, actually.
Both Tea Girls try to peer sidelong at each other's phone, then they return to their own scrolling. Tea Girl 2 rubs at something on her front teeth and Tea Girl 1 fills her cheeks with air.
- So...
- So...
- So...
- What?
- What?
Tea Girl 1 copies Tea Girl 2's mannerisms and reactions to what's on her phone.
Tea Girl 2 looks alert at the sound of a bell.
- Bye.
- Bye.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Blowing air kisses, Tea Girl 2 sashays away without looking at her friend, who's blowing air kisses too.
When she's alone, Tea Girl 1 resumes scrolling through screens on her phone. She frowns a little.
Sad.
End credits: Script, lyrics - Willow Sizer. Composer, arrangements, additional lyrics - Rachel Lewindon.
Cast - Marty Alix (Tea Girl #1), Willow Sizer (Tea Girl #2).
Lighting design - Adelaide Harney. DOP, editor - Andrew Mills. Director - Kayla Hamill. Co-director - Margot Tanjutco. Best Girl - Lucy Cawood.
Audio engineer, bass - Oliver Powell. Guitar - Samuel Kreusler.
Lip-Sync cast - Kayla Hamill, Isabel Mulrooney, James Majoos, Ayesha Madon, Juan Gomez, Jessica D'Souza, Catie Spears, Melanie O'Brien, Chi Nguyen.
Vocalists - Willow Sizer, Juan Gomez, James Majoos, Ayesha Madon, Kala Gare, Rachel Lewindon.
A young man with close-shaven black hair and a moustache approaches a white desk and chair in a blank grey room. He casts a shadow on either side of him on the back wall. He's wearing a brown jumper over a pale collared shirt, grey trousers and sneakers, and he's carefully balancing a small pile of items in his hands.
He sits in the chair behind the desk, on which there is an office phone and nothing else.
He neatly lays the items in his hand out on the desk: a red-and-green apple, a magnifying glass, a draughtsman's pencil, and three small books covered in brown paper and labelled with the titles 'Notes', 'Birth Certificate' and 'Passport' respectively.
Beside the books he lays out three brown-paper flash cards bearing the words 'Dignity', 'First born child' and 'Soul', in that order, but then he switches them around so that 'Soul' comes between 'Dignity' and 'First born child'.
He puts his hand on the phone receiver, but then picks up the apple instead and takes a bite.
He puts his hand on the phone receiver again, then changes his mind and throws the apple away.
The third time he picks the phone receiver up and presses a button on the keypad.
AUTOMATED FEMALE VOICE: Welcome to the Blah-Blah Hotline. To help us best attend your call, please have your customer reference details or Government PIN ready.
The caller reads the back of the flash card labelled 'Soul'.
3,8,7...
VOICE: I am sorry, I didn't catch that.
3, 8, 7, 1.
VOICE: I am sorry, I didn't catch that. Do you have a Government PIN?
Yes.
The caller's face falls as he waits.
VOICE: I am sorry, I didn't catch that. Was that 'yes' or 'no'?
No.
VOICE: I am sorry, I didn't catch that. Was that...
Yes!
VOICE: Thank you. What is your Government PIN?
3, 8, 7...
VOICE: I am sorry, I didn't catch that. Was that 'yes' or 'no'? Thank you. Please hold.
Looking bored, the man holds the phone receiver a little away from his ear.
VOICE: Please state in exactly 10 words the reason for your call.
I'm poor and my mum...
Thank you. Just so you know, delivering falsified information to the Department can result in public shame, neglect of basic human rights and even death. Would you like to continue?
The caller bites his nails thoughtfully.
Yes.
Please listen to the following and mark yourself on the ascending scale. Are you...poor, very poor, medium poor, or considering selling your body to buy your brother shoes for school?
Looking uncertain, the caller scratches his neck.
Medium poor.
VOICE: Let me check that. Did you know that one in every ten Australians experience extreme disappointment while using our services? Try an express online application that will crash when you really need it and log you out of our systems forever. Did you know that one in every one women experience internalised misogyny...
The caller scratches his face, rolls his eyes and heaves a sigh while waiting, then drowses off with the phone to his ear.
A music video with Willow and another singer posed like iconic film clips from the '70s, in which both singers are facing straight ahead at right angles to each other, with only their heads and shoulders visible. They're wearing white turtlenecks beneath sparkling black jackets with sequins.
They sing with solemn expressions. Throughout the clip they change positions, sometimes both facing the same way but with one in the foreground and one in the background.
♪ I have a feeling I have felt ♪
♪ A feeling that I do not like ♪
♪ Greyness isolation heart-breaking ♪
♪ I look for answers but I find nothing ♪
♪ And the silence that I hear, I feel inside ♪
♪ I confide ♪
♪ Into devoid of something ♪
Now both singers are standing side by side, holding electric guitars at identical angles.
♪ You do your duty, I do mine ♪
♪ Brother, can you spare a dime? ♪
They resume their earlier singing positions, then each of them is holding a black phone receiver.
♪ I come to you now in my time of need ♪
♪ I call you on the phone, I beg and plead ♪
♪ And your silence, like a shadow on my dream ♪
♪ Of being seen ♪
♪ What does it mean...? ♪
♪ It is devoid of something ♪
Both singers walk with their guitars, stomping rhythmically back and forth across a blank space.
♪ For many reasons I have strife ♪
♪ Follow me throughout my life ♪
The singers share a split screen, each of them on the phone.
♪ - You answer questions you don’t ask
- A conversation with machines and graphs ♪
♪ - Legislation, like boredom dulls the mind
- It’s not a crime, it’s not a crime ♪
The singers twirl with their guitars, then resume their earlier singing positions.
♪ Of something, something, something, something ♪
They flick between standing alone, holding their guitars and singing into their phone receivers or even call-centre headsets.
♪ I do not walk this path alone ♪
♪ We are the ones you can disown ♪
♪ Soaked in guilty deprivation ♪
♪ We are the children of your nation ♪
♪ And the words of our anguish are written in the urinals ♪
♪ In public stalls ♪
♪ It is devoid of something ♪
They take off their call-centre headsets and hug them to their chests.
♪ Oh if I could rise above ♪
♪ If our paths were laid with love ♪
♪ Oh we don't have to fight ♪
♪ God gave me a Hoi Poloi ♪
♪ - A Hoi Poloi
- That's all I need ♪
Singing to each other now, they lift their guitars and walk away.
♪ - A Hoi Poloi
- That's all I need ♪
♪ - A Hoi Poloi
- That's all I need ♪
♪ - A Hoi Poloi
- That's all I need ♪
The singers, wearing their headsets again, clasp each other's hands.
♪ Devoid of something ♪
The young man is now fast asleep, sprawled across the desk with the phone receiver dangling from its springy cord.
End credits: Script, lyrics - Willow Sizer. Composer, arrangements, additional lyrics - Rachel Lewindon.
Cast - James Majoos (Poor Boy), Willow Sizer (Dream Paul), Rachel Lewindon (Dream Garf).
Lighting design - Adelaide Harney. DOP, editor - Andrew Mills. Director - Margot Tanjutco. Best Girl - Lucy Cawood. Recording/mixing engineer, bass - Oliver Powell. Guitar - Samuel Kreusler.
Proudly presented by Fine Arts and Music at the University of Melbourne.
Willow's head and shoulders against a dimly-lit white backdrop, her short hair side-parted and her smiling lips painted red. She's wearing thin silver hoop earrings and a white turtle-neck top beneath a white jacket. She sings.
♪ I am poor, plain old poor ♪
Willow's actually standing at a bar table, which contains a single glass of water.
♪ Straight up undiluted, non-negotiable ♪
♪ Please, please don't judge me, you people who pay taxes ♪
She raises her glass in a toast.
♪ I can put my kids in public school and it's all because of you ♪
A woman's hands playing a piano, then another young woman in a white shirt, singing into a studio microphone while wearing headphones.
♪ Life is fine on the welfare line
9 to 5 working for a child of mine ♪
♪ In sickness and in health... ♪
Another young woman in a white shirt takes up the song, only she's also wearing round, wire-rimmed sunglasses. The singers alternate at the microphone.
♪ Through doubt and through strife ♪
♪ I'm a working-class man
on the government plan ♪
♪ Got my dreams in my pocket
with my cigarette ♪
♪ A healthcare card to get my concessions
so I get from A to B ♪
A chorus group sings around the microphone, including Willow and the other two young women, as well as a few other young people in white shirts and blue jeans. They smile benignly as they sing.
♪ Judge not and you will not be judged ♪
♪ Condemn not, you will not be condemned ♪
♪ Forgive and you will be forgiven, yeah ♪
The next soloist at the microphone is a young woman in a leather cowboy hat.
♪ I can lock my door at night,
sleeping good and tight ♪
The next singer is wearing headphones and is nodding passionately as she sings. The two singers alternate.
♪ No air-con, no central heat
but your generosity will keep me warm ♪
♪ I'm thankful, thankful for your taxes ♪
♪ Got my fundamental human rights
so life is pretty damn good ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
Someone holds a cup of water up to the singer with headphones, then the chorus singers take over again, holding hands as they sing.
♪ Judge not and you will not be judged ♪
♪ Condemn not, you will not be condemned ♪
The tall young man beside Willow hugs her against his chest as they sing.
♪ Forgive and you will be forgiven ♪
The next two alternating singers are a young woman with pink lipstick, holding her headphones up to one ear, and an enthusiastic young piano player sitting at her keyboard.
♪ I know you did not choose
a portion of your salary to lose ♪
♪ And you think that I will use it to buy some booze ♪
A young man with heavy make-up and fake eyelashes takes his turn at the microphone.
♪ But your generosity
is so important to me, yeah ♪
♪ A friendly guy with no wings to fly,
was struggling to get by ♪
Willow gazes dreamily into space as she sings beside the piano, behind which the tall young man pops up with a beatific smile on his face.
♪ And when I get to the pearly gates
Old Jesus will decide ♪
♪ On my mortal soul and it's sordid role
Having lived my welfare life ♪
♪ I say, "Jesus please don't judge me"
He says, "Son, I don't pay taxes. ♪
Willow extends a hand to the smiling man.
♪ "I'm a full-time carer and a part-time lover
And a sweet-talking working-class man ♪
Holding each other's hands warmly, they sing to each other at the microphone.
♪ "A real faith healer, a true believer
done wrong by the government" ♪
Now the chorus singers are arranged casually around the microphone and the piano, holding and wearing brightly coloured fake flowers.
♪ Judge not and you will not be judged, no ♪
Willow and the tall man play the piano side by side.
♪ Condemn not, you will not be condemned ♪
♪ Forgive and you will be forgiven ♪
Willow spreads her arms wide while singing melodramatically.
♪ Release me ♪
Willow and the man at the piano sing joyfully to each other, bouncing to the music. The chorus singers sway, waving their flowers.
♪ Judge not and you will not be judged ♪
♪ Condemn not, you will not be condemned ♪
♪ Forgive and you will be forgiven ♪
♪ He will forgive ♪
The others trail away, leaving Willow singing alone with a frank expression.
♪ I'm a working class man ♪
♪ On the Newstart plan ♪
♪ Doing the best that I can ♪
♪ Ahoo... ♪
Yeah, that was nice.
She beams. One remaining chorus singer is on bended knee in front of her, holding up a bouquet of fake roses.
End credits: Script, lyrics - Willow Sizer. Composer, arrangements, additional lyrics - Rachel Lewindon.
Lighting design - Adelaide Harney. DOP, editor - Andrew Mills. Director - Margot Tanjutco. Best Girl - Lucy Cawood. Assistant director - Kayla Hamill.
Audio engineer, bass - Oliver Powell. Guitar - Samuel Kreusler.
Lip-Sync cast - Kayla Hamill, Isabel Mulrooney, James Majoos, Ayesha Madon, Juan Gomez, Jessica D'Souza, Catie Spears, Melanie O'Brien, Chi Nguyen.
Vocalists - Willow Sizer, Juan Gomez, James Majoos, Ayesha Madon, Kala Gare, Rachel Lewindon.
Proudly presented by Fine Arts and Music at The University of Melbourne.
Artist Statement
Cowboys and Taxes defines power as being in service of the status quo; conservative, patriarchal, white and heteronormative. Incorporating my experience as a live performance and variety artist with Rachel, and my song writing partnership, Cowboys and Taxes, the web series, was created in parody of traditional, formulaic music videos and sketches.
Cowboys and Taxes is a political satire using different styles of song to explore the imbalance and misuse of power in Australia, embedded withallusions to internet-based trends and references. The result is a hyper modern yet eclectic aesthetic; reminding us that the imbalance of power is still current – still modernizing itself, and always has been.
Artist
Willow Sizer Lyrics, dialogue, concept, design, producer.
Rachel Lewindon additional lyrics, arrangement, music production, concept, editing.
Additional Credits
OTHER CREDITS:
Margot Tanjutco Director/Aesthetic Consultant
Kayla Hamill Director
Andrew Mills DOP/Editing
Adelaide Harney Lighting Design/Operator
Oliver Powell Album Production/Bass in Opportunity
Lucy Cawood Photography, Sound assistant
CAST/SINGERS:
Kala Gare
Juan Gomez
Rachel Lewindon
Ayesha Madon
James Majoos
Willow Sizer
CAST:
Marty Alix
Isabel Mulrooney
Chi Nguyen
Melanie O’Brien
Caitlin Spears
Kayla Hamill
Jessica D’Souza
MUSICIANS:
Oliver Powell (Bass)
Samuel Kreusler (Guitar)
Rachel Lewindon (Everything else)
